75｜Why Marry and Raise Children
Modern society often views marriage and parenting as: a burden, a responsibility, or even an "optional luxury." But from the perspective of Jesus: Marriage and parenting are not appendages to life; they are the two profound spiritual schools prepared by God for humanity. They exist not primarily for "procreation," not for "social stability," nor even just for "romantic love." Rather, they are for: allowing man to recognize his true self; providing opportunities for repentance, humility, and growth; and returning man to God’s original intent. Marriage and child-rearing are two mirrors God places in human life: one reflects who we truly are; the other reflects who we can still become.
(1) The Human "Ego" Almost Ceases to Change After Maturity
Growing up is often a process of "Ego-solidification": values become fixed, emotional reactions become patterned, defense mechanisms become hardened, the dividing mind deepens, and the Ego grows rigid. Once the Ego solidifies, spiritual growth stops. The more "mature" one is, the harder it is to repent; the more "successful" one is, the less willing one is to be humble. A single life easily allows one to live in their own universe, never reflected by authentic relationships. Thus, God established marriage and children to break the self-enclosure of man.
(2) Marriage: The Mirror That Reflects the "True Self"
A person can be gentle, rational, and dignified in the outside world, but within an intimate relationship: control, jealousy, possession, fear, comparison, fragile self-esteem, and an inflated Ego are all fully exposed. Marriage brings out the most authentic side of a person, allowing us to see our true problems. Therefore: Marriage is not primarily to make you happy, but to make you Awake. Facing a partner’s needs, vulnerabilities, emotions, and differences, we are forced to learn: to let go of self-centeredness; to learn humility and apology; to learn tolerance and patience; to learn sincerity and communication. Marriage allows us to see our sinfulness and provides opportunities for repeated practice and renewal.
(3) Children: The "Spiritual Mentors" God Gives to Parents
Children are not "raw materials" waiting to be molded by parents; they are "little teachers" sent by God to lead parents to repentance. Children live in a way closer to the Kingdom: trusting, present, with less division, less Ego, and being authentic and transparent. Therefore: children are not the weak, but the examples; parents are not the masters, but the primary students. A child constantly reflects back to the parent: their own anxiety, their desire for control, their impatience, their comparison and vanity, and their deep-seated scarcity. Thus, raising a child is not "rearing someone else," but rearing once again the part of one’s own soul that has not yet been healed.
(4) Marriage and Parenting: The Path of Humility and Repentance Prepared by God
Marriage makes us admit: "I am not the center of the world." Children make us admit: "I do not yet know how to truly love." In marriage, we learn: to accept a real, imperfect person; to practice the love that "does not seek its own"; and to still choose respect and listening amidst conflict. In the parent-child relationship, we learn: to trust simply like a child; to let go of control and division; to return to softness, trust, and presence; and to relearn the way of the Kingdom. Marriage and parenting are the ways God uses love to force us to leave the old self and enter a new life that is more like Christ.
Summary｜Original Doctrine 75
- Marriage reflects our Ego; children reflect our Spirit.
- Marriage leads to repentance; children lead to humility.
- Marriage and parenting are not burdens or obligations, but God’s grace and path of practice.
- Without practicing the heart in authentic relationships, it is difficult to truly draw close to God.
In one sentence: Marriage and children are the most profound spiritual practice fields designed by God for human life; through these relationships, we shed the old self and become little children fit for the Kingdom again.
